First of all, yes you could. If you found yourself with 4 babies and a toddler, you would do what you needed to do to feed them, care for them, and live. I am certain of it-- it's just what we do as humans!
Second, I would have said the same thing to a mom of multiples! I firmly believe Andy and I are proof in the saying, "God doesn't give us what we can handle, He helps us handle what we are given." Trust me: God is at work all over the place in our attitude and skills, because on our own, we wouldn't be able to do this at all! So please don't think we are more "with it" than we are--- we just get to see & experience God's phenomenal grace and gifts significantly on a daily basis! (especially His gifts of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness & self-control-- of which I plead for several times a day)!
Third, never underestimate the power of community. The old saying "it takes a village to raise a child" is so true. We have had family, friends, acquaintances and strangers in our community reach out and help in some mighty ways, whether that is to make meals, help build a garage, care for babies, wash bottles, clean our house, or just offer some words of encouragement! It all has helped us so amazingly, and reminds us how kind people are. I also have the pleasure of chatting all the time with other quad moms around the states- a few even had their babies within days of ours! We trade strategies, pictures, interventions, and yes, even epic fails all the time. I love having the community of other moms of multiples! It makes what we do seem so very normal, which to us, it is.
And lastly, let me say it loud and clear: IT'S ALL ABOUT ROUTINE, BABY. We have systems.
For everyone out there who may or may not have quadruplets, this is how our household does some key things right now (with babies at 3 1/2 months old).
The Schedule:
When I read the book Babywise when Jenna was a baby, I distinctly remember throwing it across the room as I tried to keep her awake after a feed. I think I also muttered something about it being a stupid book of course written by a man. Fast forward several years and four babies later, and I picked up the book and read it with a new vigor & understanding. After reading it, let me assure you yes, it is written by a man, but also his wife, too, and they have triplets. And my quad moms swear by it, so I knew I needed to give it some serious attention! The book is huge on getting your baby on a schedule that is fairly rigid and centers around "eat, wake, sleep" patterns. It also recommends feeding schedules and tips to get your child(ren) sleeping a full night very early on.
And so I have adopted this schedule fully! It says that until babies can sleep 9-10 hours at night, you still want them on the 3 hour schedule during the day, but then you do a last night feed and stretch out their nights until they can sleep all night.
So this is our schedule: Feeds are at 7am, 10 am, 1 pm, 4pm, 7pm & last feed is at 10 pm. And guess what? A hard week of training babies and sticking to the tips from other moms & the book and OUR BABIES SLEEP ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT!!!!! And they do great. One or 2 babies still might fuss at night, but they can go all night without a feed just fine and sometimes even need waking up at 7am! Go Tyler, Tanner, Lauren & Hannah!
My quad-feed set-up (and yes, I am in the corner at their feet so they don't fall!) |
Bottles:
Since I started writing this post, our babies have graduated up from the 4 oz Dr. Brown bottles to the 8oz bottles (ok... so they're still consuming 4 ounces, but mommy wanted to get use to those bigger bottles and increases will happen!). However, the system is still the same. Our babies now consume 24-28 bottles a day (6-7 feedings). That's a whole lotta bottle washing and making. This is what works for us:
The dirty bin. All used bottles go in here (rinsed out, taken apart) until ready to be washed. |
One of the best bottle washers in town- my mom! |
Once everything is washed, I assemble nipples/tops & valve/vents, and place bottles on a baking pan |
The rest of the bottles go in the refrigerator. I use my waitressing skills from years past to place the tray in the fridge by simply sliding the baking pan on the top shelf. So far no spillage! |
And there you have it. Easy, right? I know you could do this, too. ;-)
Babies Play & Sleep:
Our quadlings may be 3 1/2 months old, but their gestational is only 3 weeks and they still need lots and lots of sleep during the day. Usually after a feed they zonk right out, although according to Babywise we are suppose to keep them awake for at least 15 minutes-- we try!
However, lately each baby has had longer stretches of alert time, to which I eagerly put them on the floor for some play time! It is SO neat having each one make eye contact with you and start interacting and engaging with toys. As of right now, I would say Tanner seems to be the most alert and will bat at toys and really engage with them. The other 3 have their alert moments too, and play also, but are also just so sleepy! In a few months I will be wishing all they do is sleep, right?!?
Every day between feeds, I alternate giving them tummy time, floor time, bouncer time, cuddle time or general play time. I give them these times and then put them down for a nap, but if a baby is especially alert, I will continue the alert/play time with that one or two. As they tolerate longer stretches of alert time and as the schedule transitions from feeds every 3 hours to 4, their nap schedules will emerge a little more clearly. Right now 90% of their day (when not eating) is nap time!!!
Play time! |
"Extended Tummy Time". Hey, tummy time is important, even if they get sleepy! |
Laundry:
Lots of it. Loads and loads every day. God Bless our moms and other helpers who make it a goal to get "caught up"-- HA! Funny thing right now: Jenna, who is almost 4 1/2, has started (on her own!) taking the dry clothes out of the dryer, folding them, and carrying the basket upstairs. Amazingly, she folds clothes very well! And so I have started paying her (a quarter) every time she does this. She loves to help, and she honestly is a big help! (I know, I know. She is amazing!!!)
I make my own laundry detergent and so I save a whole heck of a lot of money: find the recipe at http://www.jillsavage.org/?page_id=896 under "best laundry detergent ever." It amounts to around 6 months of laundry (or for me, maybe 3 months!) for under $3, and works great! For added toughness, I also will add a bit of Oxy Clean or spot clean really yucky stuff, but otherwise it works great and can also be used on cloth diapers, which I plan to use in the future (wish me luck!).
Life:
This is it! Beyond having four babies at once, I feel everything is the same as before. We still are who we were, we have the same friends and interests, Jenna is still a normal 4 year old. Andy and I are so blessed with a solid, really good marriage and people in our life that hold us accountable to keeping our marriage healthy. We are so blessed with great family and friends who amaze us with their love and generosity. We have a strong faith and an excellent church. We have five healthy, beautiful children. I have no idea what we did to deserve such blessings, and we try to thank God daily for his overabundant blessings. Maybe life is alittle lot more hectic than ever before, but we wouldn't change a thing.
And there you have it. That is how we do things these days!Life:
This is it! Beyond having four babies at once, I feel everything is the same as before. We still are who we were, we have the same friends and interests, Jenna is still a normal 4 year old. Andy and I are so blessed with a solid, really good marriage and people in our life that hold us accountable to keeping our marriage healthy. We are so blessed with great family and friends who amaze us with their love and generosity. We have a strong faith and an excellent church. We have five healthy, beautiful children. I have no idea what we did to deserve such blessings, and we try to thank God daily for his overabundant blessings. Maybe life is a
Hugs!
Becky
Way to go girl!!! You guys have got it down! One of the best realizations Mike & I had was that a schedule with quads learns to evolve. About every 2-3 weeks now, we have to tweak our system. Drop a feed, sleep longer, new daytime activity (bumbo chairs), introduce spoon feeds, etc. It was like a light bulb coming on and now we look forward to change instead of getting frustrated by it. Love keeping up with your crew! Enjoy every second of your newfound SLEEP!!!!
ReplyDeleteRoutine is wonderful and it sounds like you guys have it down! I love how Jenna is doing the laundry. My girls love to help out. Sometimes they would rather do chores than play with toys. They will sit for thurt minutes putting a pacifier back in if a baby is having their fussy time. I love that all your activity set ups have hanging toys. I need to get some more overhead items. You and Andy are doing amazing and I love watching the kids grow up through the blogging world!
ReplyDeleteYou're right. We all could probably be (relatively) good parents to quads if we had to do so, but I don't think we could all do it with the grace and cheerfulness that you show! So I am still super impressed! :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a fantastic post! So true about God giving us what we can handle WITH Him.
ReplyDeleteI love how we do so many things similarily even stuff we never talked about! Your bottle set up is pretty similar and we make laundry detergent too. Don't you hate washing the tall dr. Browns? The brush barely reaches!
Now that we mastered the quad feed, I realized they eat better propped in boppies than tandem in a lap. They are just too big for the old way now.
Ps. I dreamt that I met you in person and cried tears of joy! I could not do this without God and quad mamas, especially those with quadlets born the same week!