Years and years ago, I ached to have a chance to celebrate Mother's Day and wear that pristine title "Mom".
Six years ago, my dreams became a reality and my precious daughter Jenna was the one gurgling "mama".
Three years ago, I was pregnant and still dumbfounded that I was carrying quadruplets. It just didn't seem real that I would have four more little people calling me mom!
Two years ago, I was in such a swirl of mommy-hood with four babies and a four year old that I literally don't remember it. I am so glad I blogged the experience. Literally. Can't. Remember. It.
Since then, I think I have been called "mom/mommy/mama/MoMEEEEEEE" over a million trillion times. And honestly, sometimes I cringe at that title and want to run away. Run far, far away!
Not that I don't love my kids. Not that I don't still get amazed that God blessed me with 5 children. I always wanted to be a mommy. I love children, and secretly hoped I would one day have a big family, even though I was fine with Andy's comfort zone of "2- just 2" kids.
It's just that this mom job is tough. You know it, I know it, and kids never know it, because they are far too consumed with themselves!
I don't know about you, but this mama needs a break now and then. A time to recharge, refresh, and remember that my life is pretty stinking awesome and so are all my kids, my spouse, and my family.
Which brings me to this:
My Second Annual Quad Mama Vacation!!!
|L-R: Amber B, me, Amber S., Krista, & Ashley|
Our Cabin near Lake Tahoe we stayed- the place belongs to a friend of Krista's, and she let us stay there for free!!!
It was absolutely beautiful and absolutely perfect for our second (annual) QMBFF retreat.
|The Ambers! Amber S & Amber B|
|Together again!!! We were never at a loss for conversation ;)|
We converse often and our friendship remains strong because our quads are always moving through the same phases at the same times (combined we have 20 kids born within 12 weeks of each other!!).
|Without ever formally saying it, we all had something special for each other and had a kind-of- Quad Mom Christmas after our first dinner at the cabin! Ashley embroidered these great shirts, Amber S made sentimental picture frames, Amber B made necklaces, Krista and I gave bags containing some of our favorite things, and a QMBFF GTG would not be complete without Sugar Coma Cookies, made with love from a friend of Amber B's (& a mom to triplets!).|
|On the way to our Zip Line adventure|
|Krista's husband Paul took the four of us out to dinner the first night while we waited for Amber S to arrive the next day. What a trooper he is because all we did was gab the whole time!|
|Amber is feeding Ashley a shot of vodka in a medicine dropper. |
Because, why not?
This year we (just the moms!) got together from Wednesday to Sunday in beautiful Lake Tahoe. Instead of blogging detail by detail, I invite you to check out the perspectives from Amber, Amber & Krista on their blogs with the links below. In a nut shell, we did lots of: talking, relaxing, laughing, eating and drinking; a massage day; a zip-line adventure; and even more talking, relaxing, laughing, eating and drinking. With a sprinkle of giggles and mama mayhem mixed in.
|Ashley, Amber S, me, Krista, & Amber B. |
Together, we have 25 kids!!!
|I loved this whole adventure!!! No surprise, I always thought it would be awesome to be a trapeze artist in a circus!|
|I love this shot I took from one of the courses. Clockwise from L: Amber B, Amber S, Ashley, & Krista high in the trees!|
As I raised in the air, I teared up because in my heart I know I love all my children and my husband and my life dearly, but it gets so old. So tiring. I am always cleaning up. I am always teaching the same things over and over and over and over and over and over again. I am always thinking about the next meal. I am always trying to accomplish more than time allows. I sometimes have days I rock it, and many other days I feel I fail miserably because I set my own expectations waaaaaay too high. And I have a feeling that no matter who is reading this right now and whatever circumstances surround your life right now, you can relate on your own level. When you are in the thick of it, it's hard to gain a fresh perspective!
Cindy's Suds!). I also finished The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers by Meg Meeker, M.D., a book my neighbor Diane gave me (like, 2 years ago), and I chewed through Parenting with Love & Logic by Foster Cline, M.D. & Jim Fay. I also had lots of time to talk to God and pray. I must admit, my prayer life has been sparse lately, and I needed to sit, talk to Him, and listen to what He was saying to me.
As I rolled out of bed that Sunday, yes I was sad to say goodbye to my friends, but we were all eager to see our kids again and be with our family. We are definitely needed. A few days away really helps everyone realize that!
|Flying over Lake Tahoe on my way home.|
And so refreshed and renewed, I am asking God ever more to continue providing me with His love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Extra patience & self control, actually. I am thanking God for making me a mommy to 5 children. I am thanking my children for being who they are.
|Jenna pretending to kiss a frog? Yep.|
Sometimes I really wish I was still on my getaway with my QMBFFs, or even just out to coffee with a friend, but I am trying hard to remember that higher perspective. The fact that for this small space in time, I have utter control to parent my children as best as I can. I know I impact them. I know I mold them. I know (Lord willing) they will all grow up and be adults some day.
So how can I parent with no regrets? When I look back on my life, what impacts do I want to leave with my children? What values do I want to instill? How can I raise my children best to prepare them for life?
I want my children to have lots and lots of love, and feel loved and wanted. I want grace and forgiveness to be shown and practiced all the time. I want a marriage that is stable and healthy and my kids to find security in that.
I want my children to be treated with respect.
I don't want to yell and scream and shame them when they don't do what I want. I want them to treat others kindly. I want firm expectations, set rules, but graceful space for when mistakes and accidents happen.
I want laughter. I want a fun household. I want to have a home that is hospitable and shows God's love and grace in the best light possible. I want my children to all grow to love God with all their heart, all their soul, all their mind, and all their strength. I want to make this one chance at raising my own crew count.
I am not a perfect mom. I get it wrong so many times, but sometimes I get it right. I am so thankful for the friendships of my friends here in West Michigan and my QMBFFs who branch out across the US. I am so thankful for a great husband. I am thankful for the support and prayers of family and friends who cheer me on in Motherhood. And I am utterly humbled and thankful to Christ who saw it fit to give me all these precious children.
Even so, I would encourage you to say a prayer for a mom today who could use it. Maybe even invite her to coffee or bring coffee to her. Maybe tell her how important her job is, tell her she is doing a great job. Let her know she is appreciated, she is honored, and she is very, very needed. Us moms need all the encouragement we can! I know I do. And we need each other. I am so very thankful to my friends, including my QMBFFs, who help me be a better mom.
Here are the links to the blogs I mentioned above. Check them out!
Amber Bell's at: Texas Tales
Krista Lesnau's at: The Littlest Lesnaus
Amber Shawver's at: Four To Adore
Thanks, loyal readers!!! :-)
I love this, Becky and you too! That was just what we all needed!ReplyDelete
Great post! I especially loved what you said at the end, it was very encouraging... I have four kids, aged 9.5 months to 6.5 years, and it is tiring and crazy and discouraging and thankless, and you tell them the same things over and over and nothing seems to get through. But I do want to do a good job, we only have the one chance, and all of my four are a true blessing from God. So good to be reminded of that!ReplyDelete
What an awesome post!!! I love you already!!!ReplyDelete
Enjoyed seeing every single photo!
You gals ROCK! Every single day!!!!
That sounds like an amazing adventure! That is wonderful that you have all connected and become such great friends.ReplyDelete