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Saturday, July 21, 2012

Back at Home...

It has definitely been quite a week!  I am home tonight, and as expected, it was a mixture of emotions.  It feels really good to be home, and Jenna was SOOOO happy and giddy when we picked her up from grandma & grandpa's.  She was attached to my hip tonight and it felt wonderful being able to snuggle with her close(r) to me again-- wow, did my belly really get in the way of needed snuggle time!

However, I cried most of the drive home!  Although I know in my head they are better off in the NICU, emotionally I really miss them and want them home!!!  More accurately, I just really don't like being so far from them.  I loved being a small walk and elevator ride from them, with 24/7 access... now, they are in a hospital a half hour away!  I won't be able to drive for probably the next week, and when I can, I still have things I need to do at home, none as important as a little girl so hungry for time with me and a husband who has been such a trooper but needs me around, too.... yet I have 4 little ones needing me also-- what a balance.  I really miss my babies (**tears**).  My milk has come in wonderfully, and so that is actually a great excuse to "have" to go to the hospital regularly.  Yeah for the perks only a mom can bring!

Today, being my last day, I actually got 6 hours of sleep, followed by another hour and a half!  Then I took a nice shower & ate breakfast (the hospital food was actually really good!  NO complaints here, only that I wish I could still just call a number and have whatever food I desired brought to my door!).
After I packed up, Andy came to the hospital and the staff was very nice and told us to take as long as we wanted in the afternoon in the NICU.  So, we went there for several hours and got to love on our babies.  Our boys actually got skin-to-skin time with both of us!  Andy snuggled with Tanner while I snuggled with Tyler for about an hour.  It was SOOOO great.  I just love the kangaroo holds!
Andy cuddling with his little Tanner Man

Our little guy Tyler

Mommy & Tyler
Tanner and Tyler are doing great.  Tanner is doing great since his early scare, and had his chest tube taken out.  He is still on cpap, a pretty normal thing.  He is taking feeds like a champ and is adorable.  Tyler is just plain showing off right now.  He is OFF the cpap and any other breathing devices, and breathes room air just fine.  Still the smallest, he is a fighter and I LOVED my cuddle with him today.  He slept contentedly the whole time, with only a few cute peeks up at me.  He is feeding well, too.

Our girls are doing well, too!  Lauren is still on a ventilator, and she had a chest tube inserted yesterday to help remove excess air that is building up in her lungs.  She is tolerating feeds well, too, and is  such a little sweetie.  Hannah and her do light therapy.  They all have (and will continue to),which is pretty typical for all preemies to help with liver functioning.  Hannah is on a cpap, and is doing well.  Some feeds she does better than others, but she is working on it!
Hannah getting Bilirubin light therapy (a.k.a a Bermuda trip)

Our precious little Lauren also under the lights (or perhaps dreaming of Mexico?)
A few good bits of news:  first of all, last night Tanner, Lauren & Tyler all got a PICC line put in-- its a tiny port line that goes in from the arm to near the heart so that the nurses don't have to keep on poking them several times a day and dealing with veins that collapse easily.  Tyler will probably get one in today or tomorrow, too.  Although it was a sterile and bigger procedure, I got to watch it on Tanner and am so glad they won't be getting lots of pokes from here on out.

I also think I told people on FB, but not sure if it was blogged yet, that the Shingles Exposure Fiasco is all done!  They lifted the strict protocols yesterday morning-- Praise the Lord!!!  Once Infection Control examined & investigated all the evidence, it was found that the red marks on the babies (which were very typical marks that any nicu babies' skin could show, due to such delicate skin and tape, tags, irritations, etc) was not shingles related.  Plus, the incubation time was all off from when the poor nurse first noticed it, and also the lab samples came back negative.  SO-- after a scare & a day with strict gowning up procedures and lots of questions, many of our prayers were answered and the issue was resolved!  Praise the Lord!!

FINALLY, some of the best news yet, this morning all four babies had CT scans of their brains to determine if any of the babies have brain bleeds, a common issue with newborns.  The results???  ALL 4 BABIES ARE NEGATIVE FOR BLEEDS!!  God is SO good!  Thank you for your prayers, because they have definitely been graciously answered by Christ!

Now we just have to figure out what our new normal will be.  Now is the time I realize I will need help more from family and friends, especially in terms of rides to hospital until I can drive again, meals, house help, etc.  I somehow need to resume life at home, care for Jenna, pump every 2-3 hours, and see the babies regularly.  And then once we get use to that new normal, it will change again.  It's quite an adventure!  For right now, I would literally go crazy if I thought of all the things in weeks to come, so I am doing quite well taking it day by day.  Andy and I have the next 2 days figured out.  We will go from there!  This attitude, by the way, is in no ways because I have the skills.  It's because all you amazing people are praying for me.  Andy said when we were driving home today with a new kind of awe, "God REALLY does answer prayers..."  As simple of a statement as that is, it is more difficult to sometimes live than anything else.  Living with the faith of a child, a Child of God.  That is what is getting us through, and we still feel so privileged to have this life.  We are so blessed with our 5 children, no matter how they decided to come!

Thank you all so much for your support & prayers!  Will keep in touch...



  1. Ready to help when you need me. I'm just down the road... :-)

    Cindy Johnston

  2. Hooray for good news all around! Glad you are at home, glad Jenna has her mommy back, glad the babies are doing well (the little ones always rock!!), that your milk came in and for NO BRAIN BLEEDS!!!!!! This is all amazing, I am beyond thrilled for you. You'll get things figured out, don't worry. I had a small breakdown today because one of the three we have at home is having reflux issues and when you have more than one to bathe, change, feed and put to bed it really holds things up. Plus I feel bad for her because she seems rather miserable. So I'm going to sleep for a few hours then get up and start over again. We CAN do this!!

  3. I am so glad that you have such good news today and that things are going so amazingly well. Here is to praying the rest of the NICU ride is as awesome as this. I am glad to here that none of them have brain bleeds. My twins did and I can tell you that ride is no fun.

    I think having Jenna will help with your feeling bad about leaving your little guys. I had a very tough time when I was at home, I would hear a baby cry and I would just cry and cry, but the twins were my first little ones. I was lonely without them.

    The pumping schedule can get kind of crazy. I know that I used to fall asleep pumping because I was so tired. I do not recommend that by the way. But pump as long as you can as this is really the very best thing that you can give them.

    This might sound strange,but while they are all still in the hospital make sure to make a little time for just you and just time with Andy. Because when they get home it is going to be whole other ball game. YOU will love it and you will be busy like crazy, but it makes for very little time to be alone.

    Oh, and something if you like to scrapbook, I used to keep a disposable camera by the bed so that nurses could take a picture for me if I was going to miss a milestone or something cute. Just a thought.

    So very glad that prayers are being answered and that things are so well. Congrats again on your blessings Becky. =D

  4. I am so happy for you!! Sounds like things are going great!! Yay for no brain bleeds and you go Tyler!!! So happy you get to hold the babies more!! Please let me know when you need me!!! Also just went to see Tamara's new baby girl they are both doing good!! Please don't hesitate to call!!

  5. Jenna is so precious! What a great big sister. I am so happy to hear how your 28 week quad crew is doing and how they pull through difficult times. Prayers will continue to lift you up!