It has definitely been quite a week! I am home tonight, and as expected, it was a mixture of emotions. It feels really good to be home, and Jenna was SOOOO happy and giddy when we picked her up from grandma & grandpa's. She was attached to my hip tonight and it felt wonderful being able to snuggle with her close(r) to me again-- wow, did my belly really get in the way of needed snuggle time!
However, I cried most of the drive home! Although I know in my head they are better off in the NICU, emotionally I really miss them and want them home!!! More accurately, I just really don't like being so far from them. I loved being a small walk and elevator ride from them, with 24/7 access... now, they are in a hospital a half hour away! I won't be able to drive for probably the next week, and when I can, I still have things I need to do at home, none as important as a little girl so hungry for time with me and a husband who has been such a trooper but needs me around, too.... yet I have 4 little ones needing me also-- what a balance. I really miss my babies (**tears**). My milk has come in wonderfully, and so that is actually a great excuse to "have" to go to the hospital regularly. Yeah for the perks only a mom can bring!
Today, being my last day, I actually got 6 hours of sleep, followed by another hour and a half! Then I took a nice shower & ate breakfast (the hospital food was actually really good! NO complaints here, only that I wish I could still just call a number and have whatever food I desired brought to my door!).
After I packed up, Andy came to the hospital and the staff was very nice and told us to take as long as we wanted in the afternoon in the NICU. So, we went there for several hours and got to love on our babies. Our boys actually got skin-to-skin time with both of us! Andy snuggled with Tanner while I snuggled with Tyler for about an hour. It was SOOOO great. I just love the kangaroo holds!
|Andy cuddling with his little Tanner Man|
|Our little guy Tyler|
|Mommy & Tyler|
Our girls are doing well, too! Lauren is still on a ventilator, and she had a chest tube inserted yesterday to help remove excess air that is building up in her lungs. She is tolerating feeds well, too, and is such a little sweetie. Hannah and her do light therapy. They all have (and will continue to),which is pretty typical for all preemies to help with liver functioning. Hannah is on a cpap, and is doing well. Some feeds she does better than others, but she is working on it!
|Hannah getting Bilirubin light therapy (a.k.a a Bermuda trip)|
|Our precious little Lauren also under the lights (or perhaps dreaming of Mexico?)|
I also think I told people on FB, but not sure if it was blogged yet, that the Shingles Exposure Fiasco is all done! They lifted the strict protocols yesterday morning-- Praise the Lord!!! Once Infection Control examined & investigated all the evidence, it was found that the red marks on the babies (which were very typical marks that any nicu babies' skin could show, due to such delicate skin and tape, tags, irritations, etc) was not shingles related. Plus, the incubation time was all off from when the poor nurse first noticed it, and also the lab samples came back negative. SO-- after a scare & a day with strict gowning up procedures and lots of questions, many of our prayers were answered and the issue was resolved! Praise the Lord!!
FINALLY, some of the best news yet, this morning all four babies had CT scans of their brains to determine if any of the babies have brain bleeds, a common issue with newborns. The results??? ALL 4 BABIES ARE NEGATIVE FOR BLEEDS!! God is SO good! Thank you for your prayers, because they have definitely been graciously answered by Christ!
Now we just have to figure out what our new normal will be. Now is the time I realize I will need help more from family and friends, especially in terms of rides to hospital until I can drive again, meals, house help, etc. I somehow need to resume life at home, care for Jenna, pump every 2-3 hours, and see the babies regularly. And then once we get use to that new normal, it will change again. It's quite an adventure! For right now, I would literally go crazy if I thought of all the things in weeks to come, so I am doing quite well taking it day by day. Andy and I have the next 2 days figured out. We will go from there! This attitude, by the way, is in no ways because I have the skills. It's because all you amazing people are praying for me. Andy said when we were driving home today with a new kind of awe, "God REALLY does answer prayers..." As simple of a statement as that is, it is more difficult to sometimes live than anything else. Living with the faith of a child, a Child of God. That is what is getting us through, and we still feel so privileged to have this life. We are so blessed with our 5 children, no matter how they decided to come!
Thank you all so much for your support & prayers! Will keep in touch...