It's 3 am and I was up at 1 ravenous and feeling sick. Andy was kind enough to get up and make me hot chocolate and I munched on some crackers, but I can't sleep. I just had some peanut butter pie and with my head swimming of things, decided to write some of them down. Maybe I will be able to sleep after this!
Something happened tonight that has brought some things into crystal clear focus for me. While our news is shocking, rare, overwhelming and crazy, it is ultimately one thing: Joyful News. An answered prayer. Blessings abundantly. Very, very good.
Tonight Andy found out that a co-worker had a heart attack and died while running. He was young, healthy, and leaves behind a beautiful wife and two little girls. Shocking... rare... overwhelming... and full of such sorrow. Our prayers are going out to that family right now. So hard.
I am struck by how quickly I have been focusing on the shock of my GOOD news, and less on the gratitude I should be gushing out towards God, with endless thanksgivings over the blessings He is giving us. He has definitely helped us through some very dark, sorrowful tough times, and I grew closer to Him through them. How quickly do I focus on ME rather than HIM when I am facing good (shocking) news!
Life is so fragile.
God will give us joys and sorrows in life. This is a guarantee. I need to be reminded often, however, what blessings I do indeed have. I need to daily remember it's not about me. I need to trust in Him when sorrows will come again... and they will... knowing he is a Good God even when we don't understand why He does what He does.
My prayers go out to that family tonight.
And our journey, although significant, feels a little less... important?... than other struggles in life. Yes, we will have our fair share of struggle in the future... but at the end of the day, we are joyfully blessed. Thank You Jesus.